What are the things that your partner wants to tell you?
In order to become a better listener, you have to be aware of what your partner’s concerns are. Before they even say anything, it is good for you to know what they might want to talk about. Everyone has a billion thoughts that they might want to talk about with their partner, but there are some topics that are more common for people in relationships.
#1 The little things. They can be chores, requests, favors or even a short narrative about how their day went. These things may seem unimportant at times, but the fact that you are paying attention to them can go a long way with your partner. If they feel that you are ignoring even the smallest of things in a conversation, it could hurt them more than you realize
#2 Their feelings. Some people would prefer not to talk openly about their emotions, but your partner may want to. If they feel that you are belittling their feelings, they might resent you and feel as if you are ignoring them. In a relationship, talking about feelings is not just an occupational hazard. It is also a privilege. Knowing how the person you love feels can solidify your bond, and allow you to learn more about them.
#3 Their doubts. If you are having communication problems, that could be the least of your concerns. Your partner may want to voice out their other concerns about your relationship, but your indifference might make them feel as if you are not concerned about it.
#4 Their complaints. It might feel like nagging, but a partner complains about you because you are doing something wrong in their eyes. If you listen carefully, you can find out if they are right and change your ways. If they are wrong, the least you can do is defend yourself and fix the problem together.
#5 Their appreciation. The most painful way you can ignore your partner is when you do not listen when they are expressing their love for you. They might be complimenting you or telling you how much they love you when you are not listening. When they realize that their efforts are being ignored, it could spell trouble for you and your relationship.
How can you become a better listener?
Now that you know what to look for, you can start to hone your skills in order to become a better listener. Remember that it is not just about remembering what your partner says. You need to internalize it and respond appropriately when necessary.
#1 Hear them. Before you can listen, you have to be aware that your partner is talking to you. If you are busy and you hear them talking to you, stop what you are doing and talk to them. If you can’t do that, tell them that you will be with them shortly. Miscommunication happens when a person is too wrapped up in what they are doing and then fail to realize that their partner is talking to them.
#2 Apologize. If you did not hear your partner the first time, apologize and try to correct the situation. Try not to let it happen again, because an apology will not work on the same situation a second time around.
#3 Make a note of what your partner is saying.If your partner complains that you keep forgetting stuff, write it down. Put it in a visible place or set an alarm on your phone or computer.
#4 Understand what they are saying. It is not just about knowing what language you and your partner speak. You need to think hard about what they are saying. You have to know how it affects you. You also need to know how you can help them if they are talking about a problem.
#5 Do not give unsolicited advice. Always wait for them to ask for your help. When they do not ask for it, do not just leave it at that. Ask them if they need your help.
#6 Do not interrupt them. Interrupting someone when they talk makes it harder for you to remember what it is that person is saying. It is also rude. Your partner may resent you for it. If you have something to say about the matter, wait until they pause or stop talking.
love zone
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