Is my ex thinking about me?

After a recent break up a couple of months ago, I was shattered all over again.

We had a happy relationship, but our lives were too different to see a future together. He thought I was too flirty and had way too many male friends, and I, well I thought he was an introvert who just didn’t like me having too many friends.

I didn’t want to hear anything about him for the first few days. I didn’t even want to hear his name out loud. A week passed by, and I felt better. I hadn’t heard from him in over a week and I was extremely curious to know what he was up to.

Is my ex thinking about me? Does he want to get back with me? I didn’t want to get back with him, but I still did love him. 

The conflicting emotions were driving me mad. I loved him, but I didn’t need him or want him back. But I just had to know whether he was thinking about me. I logged into facebook on an early Saturday morning and feverishly typed his name. No status updates. He’s been inactive for about a week too. Hmm… Perhaps, he was waiting for me to announce the news to the world.

The games exes play

I had been listening to the Jets ‘Look what you’ve done’ all morning, and out of habit of letting the world know my favorite song of the day, I updated my status to a youtube link of the song and logged out.

No news from him. I googled his blog and saw that he had posted something lame about the weather being too down and mellow. Whoa, wait a minute, the weather was down and mellow?!

What the hell? It was the middle of summer and the days have been bright and sunny. Was he trying to say something to me here? Was he feeling bad and sad after the breakup? I smiled to myself, and almost instantly remembered that I was still in pain.

I kept visiting his blog several times that day, it felt good to read his gloomy weather post. My hands were itching to comment something, and I just had to do it. I used an alias and commented about how I felt the same about the weather. He would never know it was me. Ha! Not in a million years.

An eventful Saturday

The day passed by uneventfully and I watched a couple of depressing movies that made me feel worse. By late afternoon, I was even more depressed. I decided to go out and spend some time with my friends. I missed him so much, it had been a week since I had heard from him. I know we were never meant to be, but I just missed hearing his voice. As I walked down a calm and pleasant street dotted with trees and sun kissed leaves, I missed him even more. I felt lonely. I walked up to a payphone and decided to call him anonymously. He answered his phone and my mouth spread into a wide grin. I felt like a little girl calling her crush up. I held my breath and didn’t answer. He hung up after a few seconds. I felt stupid. 

love zone