When you're drunk. Though it can be incredibly tempting to text your current cutie when you've been drinking, it usually isn't a very good idea. Sure, if you've been dating for a while and are in a committed relationship, it can come off as cute, but if you've only just started hanging out, it can lead to some pretty regrettable texts.
When you're upset. If you're upset with your guy, it's a good idea to give yourself some time to cool off before reaching out. If you don't, you might say something you don't really mean. Besides, dealing with issues face-to-face, or at least over the phone, is usually a much better idea than doing so over text.
The absence of intonation, pauses, and volume just make it too difficult to figure out what the other person is really trying to say.
When you've already texted him. If you've already sent a couple of texts and had them go unanswered, do not text again, especially to check if he's gotten your other messages. This will come off as needy and annoying. Whether he's just too busy to respond right then or he's lost interest and decided to ghost you, sending message after message is sure to irritate him.
When you know he's with friends. If you know he's hanging out with his buds, avoid texting him. Give him the chance to engage with his friends without pressuring him to interact with you via text at the same time. If he likes you, he'll shoot you a text later, and not bothering him when you know he's busy will show him that you aren't needy.
When he knows you're with friends. In the same vein, don't text him when he knows you're hanging out with friends (honestly, avoid doing this even if he doesn't know—just enjoy spending time with your pals!). This will show him that your life doesn't revolve around him.
When you don't really have anything to
say. While the occasional "hey" isn't a crime, it's generally a good idea to avoid texting him first if that's all you have to say. It does nothing to foster a conversation, and it won't make you stand out from the crowd.
When your date only ended 5 minutes ago.
While it's a sweet idea to send a follow-up text after a great date, it's good to give the guy a little breathing room first. Wait for an hour or so (or even until the next day) so that both of you can process the date. He might even text you in the interim!
When to Message Him First on Social Media
Most of the advice above applies to social media as well, but here are a few extra examples of when and when not to message him first via Instagram, Snapchat, or any other platform you two use.
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